


Says It Feels Like Heaven To Him ((on hiatus))

by shitmichael



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Bottom Luke, Dildos, Exhibitionism, Headspace, Luke in Panties, M/M, Masturbation, Pining, Sex Toys, Texting, Top Michael, but only in the background really, even more masturbating wow im on a roll, luke wants mikey, mikey seems to think that he's a part of mystery incorporated, slight Cashton
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-06
Updated: 2016-07-23
Packaged: 2018-07-21 15:48:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7393642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shitmichael/pseuds/shitmichael
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In all of their years of knowing each other, Luke didn't think he had ever heard Michael laugh harder than he did at the moment. He turned his laptop off and unplugged the charger for good measure. The stupid piece of shit cost over three months worth of wages and it couldn't even pause a fucking porn video at the touch of the spacebar.</p>
<p>After what felt like ten years but in reality was only a few minutes, Michael calmed down, and instead of leaving so that Luke could get back to what he had been doing, he sat on the foot of Luke's bed and grabbed the panties from his back pocket before wiping fake tears from his eyes with them.</p>
<p>Or the one where Michael finds a pair of Luke's panties and is determined to find out where they came from.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> ((title's from off to the races by lana del rey and it doesn't really have anything to do w/ this fic tbh))

In retrospect, Luke could have easily avoided all of this. He could have come up with any excuse that might have worked. Well, okay, even if they truly weren't his, nothing could stop Michael Clifford when he was in a teasing mood. So, naturally, when he found a pair of silky black panties in the clean clothes hamper he was instantly charging towards Luke's room.

The look on Michael's face when he barged into Luke's room was smug, but it grew even smugger when he heard two male voices moaning. Michael looked like a kid in a candy store when he realized that he had walked in on Luke watching porn. Luke let out a _very_ manly scream before closing his laptop on his poor dick. 

Luke quickly threw his blanket over him to try to hold onto whatever little amount of dignity he still had left. 

His  _very_ attractive roommate had just walked in on him jacking off, and to Luke's horror the moaning continued and his dick throbbed.

"Uh," he began loudly, trying to drown out the noise.

In all of their years of knowing each other, Luke didn't think he had ever heard Michael laugh harder than he did at the moment. He turned his laptop off and unplugged the charger for good measure. The stupid piece of shit cost over three months worth of wages and it couldn't even pause a fucking porn video at the touch of the spacebar.

After what felt like ten years but in reality was only a few minutes, Michael calmed down, and instead of leaving so that Luke could get back to what he had been doing, he sat on the foot of Luke's bed and grabbed the panties from his back pocket before wiping fake tears from his eyes with them.

Seeing them felt like Michael had slammed Luke's dick into his laptop ten times in a row. He swore he could feel his cheeks were as red as his poor dick at that moment.

"Panties, Luke," Michael snorted when he saw Luke's mortified gaze on them. "I found a pair of panties in the clothes hamper which sure as hell don't belong to me and I have yet to sleep with a guy who wears them. Please explain why they were folded neatly under my sweater. Were you hiding them?" He snorted at the last part as if the thought of Luke hiding something from him was ridiculous. Which it was. Michael had some strange detective complex where if he thought something was being hidden from him, and he would not stop until he found out what it was.

He claimed it was part of his charm, but right now Luke wasn't sure if he had ever hated it more.

Luke knew that he couldn't tell the truth to Michael. Sure, he was a pretty accepting guy, but still. How could he even bring it up? _"Hi Mikey, yeah, remember that time you found panties in the hamper? Those were mine. In fact, I have a whole drawer full of them that I keep locked in case you ever come snooping in my room. Also, my sex toys are hidden under them. Might as well put everything out in the open right now."_ Yeah, never happening.

"Someone must have left them here by mistake? I was filling the hamper half asleep last night so I must have put them in without realizing." His face was redder than a tomato, but hopefully Michael would think that that was from the embarrassment of being caught jacking off. Luke shudders to think of the ridicule he'd have to endure if he had been using a dildo like he had considered doing earlier before he decided that he would end up being too loud. Looks like that was a wasted effort now.

"C'mon Luke," Michael sounded exasperated. Suddenly he crawled up the bed beside him and slid his legs under the cover. He ignored Luke's squeak when he scrambled to the very edge of the bed so that his still throbbing dick wasn't anywhere near his best friend. "You can tell me if you brought someone home, I won't judge. Everyone has one night stands. What, were you keeping it as a memorial?"

It was incredibly distracting to try and maintain a conversation while his dick was throbbing as bad as it was, so Luke considered going with it. _"Sure, I have a whole locked drawer full of them."_ Something tells him Michael wouldn't be as out of characteristically calm with him if he said that. 

Instead, he opted to shake his head at Michael. Technically, he wasn't lying, so Michael wouldn't feel the need to go all Scooby Doo on his ass.

"Well then how the hell did they get into our house? What, are they yours?" he snorted.

Luke sank down a little lower at the tone that Michael used when he said that. He was clearly teasing Luke, and Luke was ashamed by the fact that it made his dick twitch excitedly. He blamed hormones. 

"Of course they aren't mine," his voice was slightly hoarse from all of the low groaning he had been doing before he had been so rudely interrupted.

 "Looks like we have a mystery on our hands," Michael chuckled mischievously. 

Luke snorted halfheartedly at Michael's terrible one-liner, making him shoot Luke an irritated glare.

He left without saying anything else, leaving Luke alone with his boner and an apprehensive feeling, which could have just been the need to cum, but still. 

He lifted the blanket and peeked down at his cock in an annoyed way. That conversation could have probably gone much better if he hadn't been distracted by the thought of the teasing glint in Michael's eyes or his plump lips which he had kept licking unintentionally. Maybe he had a slight crush on his best friend, but at this point he was sick of denying it. He had been denying it for the past two years, much to Ashton and Calum's chagrin.

He decided that he'd already been caught _twice_ that day with two incriminating things, he might as well treat himself with some good old-fashioned butt stuff.

He slid out of the bed and opened his sock drawer and grabbed the key from the only white pair of socks that he owned. It was obviously a much better hiding spot than it seems considering that Michael hadn't found it yet during his months of snooping.

He unlocked his favourite drawer in the whole house and grinned at the sight that greeted him. He probably had enough panties and sex toys to open an adult store at this point. He lifted some of the pretty underwear out of the way so he could get to the next section of even better things. The sight that greeted him was incredible. Cock rings, butt plugs, dildos and more, along with lube. Was it sad that his sex toy drawer was colour coordinated?

He settled on a suction cupped dildo and some lube before sticking the dildo to the footboard of his bed and settling down on his back. He lubed up his fingers on one hand and trailed the other one down his chest to his sensitive nipples. After he got fed up with the slight teasing he trailed his lubed up fingers to his ass. He decided that he had waited too long for this to tease himself any more than he had already, so he circled his hole once before slowly sliding his pointer finger inside of him. He was still slightly loose from when he had fingered himself the night before, so he quickly slid another finger in with the first. 

He tried his best to avoid his prostate, knowing that once he did he wouldn't be able to stop. After a few minutes, he pushed his third finger in, mumbling out a quiet "fuck" at the stretch. He kept a steady pace for another few minutes before deciding he was stretched enough for the toy. His skin was clammy and his eyes were becoming unfocused from all of the denied pleasure and he knew if he didn't get something inside of him soon he would probably slip into his headspace.

He poured more lube onto his hand and dragged it across the fake cock. Luke turned on his hands and knees with his ass facing the toy before sinking back on it slowly. The relief was instant. He whimpered, hypersensitive from the build up. His cock was twitching excitedly at his stomach, and honestly, it was so hard that Luke would be genuinely worried if it was under any other circumstances. But he knew why he was so hard. Michael fucking Clifford and his pretty eyes and his pretty lips and, from what Luke's seen, his big cock. 

Luke's cock dribbled pre-cum at the thought of Michael's cock. He never even saw the thing hard, yet it was bigger than most of his toys.

Carefully, he leaned himself forward until just the tip of the cock was in his ass. Then, without hesitation, he pushed back fluidly, not as fast as he'd like too but he knew if he wasn't careful he could tear. He did a few more practice thrusts before building up a pace where the dildo repeatedly hit his prostate. He swore he could  _taste_ the pleasure that he was feeling at that point.

Five minutes into it and he was a pathetically whiny mess. His arms and legs shook almost violently as he neared cumming and his eyes were a hazy blue due to the unshed tears of pleasure that he was currently feeling. Luke kept pushing back as fast and hard as he could. The bed was hitting the wall in front of him from how hard he was bouncing back, but at this point he didn't care. 

In fact, the thought of Michael possibly hearing him get off made him impossibly harder. He imagined Michael walking in, coming to complain about the noise but being left speechless for the first time ever at the sight in front of him. The door in Luke's room was directly behind the foot of his bed, so he'd be greeted by the sight of Luke fucking himself straight away.

There was a chance that he'd find the sight so hot that he'd wanna join in himself because apparently Michael had a thing for butts and Luke's had been filling out nicely lately. It was one thing to be caught with his hand around his cock, but maybe the image of Luke fucking himself could give him the push Luke craved that would make him want to bury himself in the younger blond.

His cock jumped against his stomach, pre-cum bubbling out as he whined in a high-pitched voice. He was so, so close, but it wasn't enough. He pressed back so that the toy was touching his prostate and began grinding against it. Finally, the tears fell from his eyes. It was too much, it felt too good yet the thought of Michael made it even better.

"Shit shit shit," he whimpered before reaching down and grabbing his aching dick. He tugged it three times before cumming with a broken cry of Michael's name.

He collapsed on the bed while all the bones in his limbs felt like they had been removed. 

And at the point, while Luke lay on his bed, he kind of wished that he had told Michael that the panties were his. Maybe if he did, he could be lying with Michael right now, being cuddled and cleaned up after the two of them fucked.

But instead, he was stuck laying alone with a panging feeling in his heart. He felt floaty and untouchable at the moment, yet also so sad and alone.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Luke makes a plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this sucks yikes

Luke should have known better than to think that Michael would give up before he got a satisfying answer about the panties. In all of the years he's known Michael, he's never seen him as determined as he was now. It's been two days and he's still eyeing Luke with suspicion as if he was expecting Luke to crack and beg for them back (Michael was keeping them as "evidence").

"What is it exactly that you're trying to find? And how the hell did panties instigate it?" Luke snapped from his spot at the dining room table. Michael had been leaning against the kitchen counter and staring at him intently as if seeing Luke dribble a bit of milk down his chin would answer all of the questions that he had.

He shrugged, which caused Luke's hand to clench around the spoon in his hand. "I don't know, you tell me."

Luke was so tempted to just drop his pants right then and there and show Michael the pair of lacey pink girls underwear that he was currently wearing, anything that would let him eat his Cheerios in peace.

But he couldn't, because that would be letting Michael win. Over the past few days, Michael's been dropping hints that he knew the truth. Instead of stopping like a normal person would when they found out something, he was determined to keep going until Luke admitted it. He was literally devoting all of his free time to embarrassing Luke, which wouldn't be as bad as it sounded unless you added the fact that at this point Luke could chub up if Michael so much as looked at him mockingly.

But Luke was determined not to let Michael win. He wanted to shock Michael, maybe enough that he could shut up with the whole mocking thing for just one second so that Luke could have his chance. Luke was gonna make Michael want him the same way that he wanted Michael. And it was kind of hard to seduce someone when every time they made fun of you your dick hardens in your pants. Honestly, Luke should file for compensation or something, this constant hard-on thing couldn't be good for his health.

"Why don't you just leave it? It was literally a miscellaneous pair of underwear. For all we know it could be your mum's from when she stayed over last month."

"Gross, dude!" Michael groaned. "I have a solid idea where they came from, and we both know that it wasn't my mum."

"You're an annoying fuck, you know that right?"

"I have no clue what you mean," he said in a sing-song voice, but he trailed off at the blank stare he got from Luke.

"Just say where the panties are from! We both know that I'm not gonna say it, so just get it over with. Have your jab or whatever, and then please stop following me everywhere."

"Me? Know where they came from?" Michael said indignantly, but Luke had known Michael long enough to know that he was being sarcastic. "Why, if I knew why would I be asking you about it? The panties obviously aren't yours, so I wanna know who you slept with."

Okay, now he was just rubbing it in that he knew. Luke didn't do one night stands, he did annoyingly fluffy relationships. Therefore, he couldn't have slept with someone, or at least he couldn't have without Michael knowing.

And the fucking piece of shit had the audacity to smile innocently before he walked out of the room. And even though the conversation didn't go as well as it could have, Luke was just glad he could eat in peace. He put a spoonful of the Cheerios into his mouth, and his nose crinkled up at the soggy texture. 

He grumbled under his breath something along the lines of "fucking Michael fucking piece of shit my goddamn cereal is ruined now how will I enjoy my day?"

* * *

Luke came up with a plan. Honestly, he was quite proud of it. It started with him talking to Michael, and it ended with him having a dick in his ass. He was sick of pining over Michael like he had been for the past few months, and it was obvious that Michael was way too blind to notice. Which left one option: seduction. Michael would be sure to notice if Luke was suddenly ten times more attractive, which Luke was hoping he could achieve. Michael was a pile of hormones on legs, the boy practically breathed sex, for God's sake! So really, the only good way to get through to him would have to involve sex.

It started simple. Luke waited until the next day to start so that he could make sure everything was sorted out. He also made sure to tell Calum and Ashton because he knew that they would be there to witness it a lot. Also because he knew they'd be mad if he didn't.

What was simple to him was apparently a big deal to Michael, which he found out when Michael stormed into the sitting room where he was sitting with Calum and Ashton. He was waving a dildo around, and it was one of Luke's biggest jelly ones. The sight was easily the funniest thing the three of them had ever seen, especially paired with the disgusted expression on Michael's face. Seeing Michael gingerly shaking the sex toy in Luke's face made him and the other boys burst into laughter. Michael, however, seemed to think it was far from funny.

"Jesus fucking Christ Luke! Picture this: me, still half asleep reaching for the conditioner in the shower and grabbing this... this demon thing!"

"Well, that explains the scream we heard earlier," Calum snorted.

"I was wondering where I left that," Luke said, before smiling thankfully at him. He was happy with how good he was at lying when he wasn't naked and on the spot. He reached out to grab it but stopped when Michael hit him in the hand with it.

"No! What the fuck, please explain to me why this was stuck to the shower wall."

Luke shot him a look while Ashton and Calum were still chortling away to themselves. The expression on Michael's face when he realized was quite possibly the best thing any of them had ever seen. He screeched and threw the toy at Luke, where it hit him in the forehead before falling onto his lap. His hand that had been holding it flailed around for a minute before he settled on throwing a couch cushion at Luke's head as well, which also landed on his lap.

Honestly, a practically speechless Michael Clifford was a once in a lifetime occurrence. Maybe Luke's plan could go faster than he hoped. For someone who's all for teasing Luke and acting unfazed by everything, a reaction like this was unexpected.

"I-what? How in the fuck does that even go into you?" 

Well, that explains the reaction. Sometimes Luke forgets how big the toy was because he was used to it, it makes sense that Michael would be weirded out.

"Prep?" Luke said in a tone that screamed _duh_ but on the inside he was doing backflips. Because of how long Luke had known him, he could also tell when his friend was beginning to get turned on. The constant lip licking and fidgeting, paired with how intense his eyes were right now led to an equally excited Luke. He was prepared for this reaction, though, so he knew how to hide it. The pillow on his lap helped as well.

Michael looked like his knees were going to buckle under him, and Luke was loving this power he was having over him for once. "What the shit," was all he mumbled before he quickly turned and left the room.

Calum and Ashton held their hands up for high fives and Luke couldn't keep the smile off his face.

"Luke, that was awesome! You even turned him on, I don't see fucking how though."

"Ash, do you not see how big that dildo is? Michael was probably imagining it in Luke while we spoke," Calum chuckled, and Luke squirmed. Stupid fucking attention kink.

"I didn't notice, baby," Ashton smirked before putting his hand on Calum's thigh.

"Alrighty then, this is the point where you guys leave and fuck somewhere far, far away," Luke said loudly to break them from their couple moment. 

"You're no fun," Ashton pouted, but he still jumped up and dragged Calum off with him. They yelled goodbye to Michael while they walked out, wherever the hell he had slinked off to.

* * *

Michael was, quite possibly, going to die. His cause of death? Blue, innocent eyes, a big ass and an even bigger dildo.

The mere thought of Luke in the shower, water cascading over him while he prepped himself to take that thing was enough to make him groan.

He already knew what Luke looked like just touching himself, but now he wanted nothing more from life than to see Luke's cute little nose scrunch up while he slowly pushed back on that dildo. Or maybe he rode it. Michael didn't care how he took it, any position was hot to Michael's irrationally worked up body.

His reaction to something as simple as a sex toy was mildly infuriating to him. If it was smaller, he'd like to think that he'd be able to tease Luke like he would normally.

But maybe he wouldn't have, because since he walked in on Luke doing himself he's been noticing some pretty incredible things.

One thing, for instance, was how his ass had apparently filled out overnight. Also, how Luke seems to have a thing for Michael teasing him.

Michael figured that Luke was pretending that the panties weren't his, but acting embarrassed about it so that Michael would continue to mock him. And really, who was Michael to deny him of the attention he was so clearly craving? Watching Luke getting worked up and trying to play it cool was probably as amusing to him as his reaction to the dildo had been to Luke. Also, it was kind of cute in a weirdly endearing way.

And fuck, now he was thinking of the dildo in Luke again. He quickly shrugged off his shirt and pulled his sweat pants down low enough for him to be able to grab his dick out. It was half hard already from picturing Luke.

He's decided he has a new life goal. He needs to see Luke's butt. Purely for science reasons, of course. He just needs to know if its firm or soft, if it would jiggle if Michael spanked it, how it would look with Michael's- No, nope, no. He refused to get off to the thought of Luke. That little shit could not be the reason Michael comes.

He pictured Damien, the last boy he had slept with. Damien was a delicate sort of handsome, short, with long, wavy hair. His green eyes weren't the nicest, but then again, not everyone's perfect so Michael was alright with that.

Luke has perfect eyes. Just the right mix of innocent and mischievous, enough to make Michael's dick throb needily when he thought of them staring up at him while he sucked Michael's cock.

Fuck it, he can think of Luke just this once while he gets off. He's a hormonal young adult, what can he say. But he isn't attracted to Luke, it's purely physical. He finds Luke's body sexy and his personality incredible, sure. But no one thinks about personalities while they fist their cocks like he was currently doing. And he's getting off to the thought of sex, not a relationship. Because Michael is the king of one night stands and Luke's the type to want perfect monogamy, which Michael has never even tried to properly do.

Now, back to Luke and his perfect body. Michael closed his eyes and pictured Luke straddling him. Luke fingering himself open in front of Michael, sucking his fingers before sliding them into his amazing ass. Luke, sliding down onto his cock. Luke, getting so overwhelmed by everything that he forgets to move, leading to Michael thrusting up into him.

Michael wants to know what noises that Luke would make when he wasn't holding back at all. He'd probably be a whiny mess, maybe even a crier.

And shit, the thought of Luke crying from an overload of pleasure was enough to make Michael grunt deeply and buck his hips up fast into his fist. He slid his hand up to the tip and spread the pearly pre-cum that was steadily leaking out around the rest of his dick. 

The added wetness helped him slide his hips up into his hand even faster, and yeah, maybe he was imaging his hand to be Luke's, but no one has to know that.

Luke would probably love to be touching Michael's cock right now. Luke apparently had a thing for big dicks, if his choice of dildo had anything to do with it. And well, Michael isn't exactly small. He was kind of a bragger about his dick, actually.

And now he had been unwillingly dragged into the fantasy of him and Luke platonically jacking each other off. He fucked quickly up into his tight fist, biting his arm to stay quiet. He wasn't ready to embarrass himself even more in front of Luke, Luke definitely couldn't see the affect that the simple toy had on him. 

He whimpered as he neared his orgasm. He dropped his arm from his mouth and lowered it to his balls, cupping them and rubbing them to bring him extra pleasure. It was frustrating having to jack himself off, really. Usually if he wanted to cum, he'd go to his favorite bar. It wasn't officially a gay bar but it was majorly populated by cute blond boys who loved to get ploughed.

He squeezed his balls a bit tighter right when his other hand rubbed across his tip, which apparently was just the thing he needed because he came from the sudden sensitivity. "Fuck," he groaned out under his breath, looking down at his chest. Cum was splattered up to his chin. Its been a long ass time since he came that hard.

So Michael decided that he need to make a plan. If just the thought of fucking Luke could do this to him, what would the real deal be like? If he didn't find out soon, Michael was gonna move to New Zealand and become a shepherd, because all of a sudden the thought of being platonic around Luke after this sounded impossible. 

Michael was fucked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmu on  
> kik: @ idk.kelsey  
> tumblr: @ shitpostmichael  
> wattpad: @driftwood-luke


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SORRY IVE BEEN DEAD

Michael was no stranger to using his body to getting pretty blond boys to pay attention to him, so why did it seem so hard this time? 

He had gotten into the shower to clean up, his second one of the day, and this months water bill was totally on Luke because it was all his fault. He purposefully left his clothes in the kitchen when he was grabbing a drink of water earlier so he could maybe flash Luke or something and was excited to find out how long it would take him to get to Luke. He had to walk through their sitting room to get to the kitchen, so hopefully Luke would suddenly realize that he shared an apartment with a sex god and things could progress from there.

He wrapped a towel around his waist, and another in a turban on his head which was very hot, thank you very much, he'd rather look ridiculous than have to wipe up the floor after himself.

Luke was still sitting on the couch like he had been since Michael projectile threw the dildo at him, and Michael _almost_ managed to feel guilty when he saw a pink mark on Luke's forehead. Keyword almost.

Said dildo was perched proudly on their coffee table beside an empty mug, almost like it was mocking him.

"Are you gonna have a stare down with the dildo or get dressed? You're dripping all over the floor," Luke whined. Stupid Luke and his love for decor, it was honestly starting to get out of hand.

Michael was almost offended by how unaffected he was at the sight of Michael's wet body. Wasn't this something people found attractive? Damien had commented on how hot he looked while they showered together.

"Fuck off," Michael mumbled halfheartedly before walking into the kitchen. He had to up his game. Maybe he could get team Cashton to help if he really found it difficult, but for now he was way too headstrong to ask for help when sex was involved.

He glanced at the table beside where he left his clothes, and there was an open magazine. On the page was an ad for Calvin Klein, and it made Michael slowly glance to his pile of clothes. There was his favourite pair of Calvins. Suddenly Michael had an idea. He was a genius, honestly.

He dropped his towels and quickly shrugged on the underwear before grabbing the rest of his clothes. He took a quick breath to calm himself down before walking casually through the sitting room again, this time headed for his room. He willed himself not to look towards Luke, wanting to play it off as cool as possible. He could practically feel Luke's eyes trace up and down his back while he walked down the hall, making him do a little smirk at himself when he passed the hall mirror.

* * *

 Luke was a puddle on the couch as soon as Michael was out of his eyesight. It had been a long time since he saw Michael like that, the last time had been almost two years ago when Michael wanted to streak at their school's last football match of their senior year but someone snitched so he didn't have enough time to take his underwear off.

Michael was beautiful, and it was times like this that Luke wished that he was good at art so he could draw him in all his glory. Michael was all soft curves, a little tummy and the prettiest shade of pale Luke had ever seen. And maybe Luke had caught a sight of his bulge, but that wasn't anyone's business. He wanted to remember that sight forever, except he knew he wouldn't have to. His plan would work. Obviously, the dildo had affected him, so it was just a matter of taking it up a notch. 

He tried calling Ashton for help, but he didn't answer, and neither did Calum. Luke shuddered at the thought of why they wouldn't pick up. Just because they were fine with his sex life doesn't mean he was okay with theirs. The final straw probably would have been when he walked in on them fucking in his childhood bed at his parent's house. He was never able to look at the blue racing car the same way again and they still refused to apologize for it.

Realizing that his two friends were useless and that he didn't have anything to help him out, he decided to go out. He could go get some coffee at an overpriced hipster store, and maybe get a new toy or outfit at the adult store on one of the side streets. He'd be able to find something great without a doubt.

* * *

Luke probably should have decided what to buy before he walked into the Sex Kitten store. It was like going food shopping while you were hungry, it was just a bad idea. 

No matter how many times he shopped there, he'd never get over how amazing the store was. It was divided by kinks, mainly, but there were some random miscellaneous shelves and stands. He walked over to the BDSM corner first and made his way over to the ball gags. He had a plain black one, but he had two problems with it. One, it was slightly too big for his jaw, and two, it just wasn't very him. He was all cute pastels, not scary emo sexual demon.

He spotted a cute white one with pale pink straps and instantly knew that he loved it. He grabbed that and went over to the kitten play section. He wanted another tail plug, because at the moment he only had two, and the plugs weren't as big as he'd like them to be.

"Hey, do you need any help?" Luke turned to his left and saw a cute boy around his age smiling down at him. He had black hair in an undercut and he had pretty grey eyes that were framed in some of the darkest eyelashes Luke had ever seen on a guy. And wow, either he was just super gay or paid a lot of attention to details because how else would he notice what looked like fucking nipple piercings poking against his tight work shirt.

"Nah, I'm fine. I'm having a look around," Luke smiled. Now that he thought about it, the uniform for the sex store was extremely modest. A black t-shirt, some black jeans and a name tag pinned to the left of the shirt. Cute boy's name was Max, he noted.

"Are you buying for you or for a special someone?"

"Me," Luke said without blushing. The first time he'd been in the store had been comical, but now he was comfortable. "And I'm gay."

And great, did Luke just make it weird? Why did he feel the need to tell the guy he was gay? God, he was gonna regret this as soon as he left. He could already picture Michael mocking him if he ever found out about this.

"Cool," Max smiled, and Luke was inwardly cursing because the guy hadn't made any confirmation as to whether or not he'd be into dicking Luke. Sue him, he's a hormonal boy who hasn't had sex in a long ass time and there was an attractive and probably sexually experienced man in front of him. "We got some new stock yesterday, I can show you it if you want?"

Luke was now Max trash, so he nodded. Maybe he could get a number if he was lucky. He really needed a wingman or something, because apparently his newfound flirting confidence was reserved for Michael only.

"This is gonna sound kinda invasive, but you're a bottom right?" When he noticed Luke's face, he quickly began to explain. "It's how I know what to show you."

"Bottom," Luke repeated, having to resist winking, not wanting to make himself look more socially awkward than he already was. Of course that was why Max was asking. But now that he thought about it, Max looked like a top, For one thing, he was taller than Luke, he also put off a strong vibe. And great, now Luke was thinking about what he'd be like with his clothes off, which made him think of his nipple piercings.

"There are some great new vibrators we got, they're more out there design-wise but..."

And Luke may have ended up leaving the shop with two more vibrators along with his gag, Max's number and a considerably lighter wallet, but who cares? 

He felt like a kid playing spies or something while he walked home and swung the black inconspicuous bag from Sex Kitten. It was like when he was five and had to hide his mum's cupcakes from his friends who came over because he wanted to keep as many for himself as possible. Sure, this was kind of different, but still. It was kind of similar if you forget about the fact that adult toys were in the bag, and he could possibly scar a five-year-old if they knew the point of them.

He decided to grab the coffee that he had been thinking of earlier and got Michael's usual order along with his favourite muffin that the coffee store sold. He was such a great friend, Michael better be grateful. He put the muffin into the bag so that he could hold both cups of coffee in his hands. 

And once again, Luke's genius struck. He had a part two to his plan already. If Michael's dick wasn't in him by the end of the week he was suing. 

"Honey, I'm home," he called out when he opened the front door.

He found Michael laying on his back on the couch with his feet against the wall while Judge Judy played on the TV.

"Feet off the wall, you're gonna mark them," Luke mumbled when he sat down. He decided to do part two now because it was a perfect opportunity. He put the bad on its side on the coffee table facing them after he gave Michael his coffee and rooted through the bag, 'accidentally' dropping the ball gag out onto the floor when he grabbed the muffin.

"Shit," he mumbled under his breath before he reached down to grab it. "Dammit, I forgot to get the tail!"

Meanwhile, Michael was choking on his muffin. "The-" he broke off to cough some more, "the tail?"

"Yeah," Luke whined in distress. "It was so cute as well, it matched my hair. Ugh!"

Michael started choking even more, making Luke look over at him. 

"Are you alright, Mikey? Do you need me to slap your back?"

"Shut the fuck up," Michael complained before walking to the kitchen.

Luke sent a text to Calum and Ashton in the group chat that they had to let them know that the improv plan was still going pretty well.

_almost made mikey choke to death on a muffin is this what success feels like?_

**Guacamoley !!**

CALUM BABE THEYRE SO FUCKING YOU OWE ME FIFTY BUCKS

**avocado**

babe you typod guacamole in your name

how tf are we supposed to be goals if you caNT TYPE YOU LAMEO

**Guacamoley !!**

stfu its endearing

_guys pls task at hand_

_and no its not endearing_  

_youre both lame and ihy_

**calum and luek suck is typing...**

**avocado**

you spelt luke wrong bb

**_calum and luek suck has left the group_ **

**avocado**

smh @ him

ive gotta go comfort him now good luck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so this was extra shit but ive risen from the dead so yay??
> 
> i haVE EXCUSES I SWEAR my internet is dangling off the side of a cliff ((basically my internet is super bad and is practically dead)) and then ive been staying in my nannys house (grandma for all you non irish cretins) and she lives in the middle of nowhere so ive been surviving off of 3g its a tragedy ik ;-;
> 
> but hey you can hmu on kik if you wanna yell at me or smth im @ idk.kelsey
> 
> ALSO THE GC THING AT THE END WAS BASED OFF OF KIK BC THATS WHAT ALL MY GC'S ARE ON IM SRY IM UNEDUCATED.

**Author's Note:**

> so this was really shitty and its edited shittily (is that even a word??) and its my first work but points for effort right


End file.
